Wenger, the manufacturer of the classic Swiss Army Knife, has revealed a 9-inch long, 2-pound “knife” which carries 85 instruments, or: almost every tool that has ever been on a Swiss Army Knife, ever. The list includes seven different knives, a golf shoe spike wrench, a bike chain rivet setter, and a laser pointer with a 300ft range (but where’s the freakin’ USB flash drive?). Presumably this is so seasoned golfers can tune their bicycle’s rivets before heading off on a deer hunt / cycling trip armed with blinding lasers and an entire collection of 3-inch knives. An equivalent “indoor” do-it-all gadget would feature Apple’s entire iPod line-up, a SCSI to Parallel adapter and the collective consciousness of the Engadget staff in BBS form, contained in the form factor of a combination Bluetooth headset / wristwatch.

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from Engadget

If you’re always looking to loosen bolts wherever you go, but hate that bulky wrench-pocket look, here’s the credit-card sized wrench substitute from the UK. Easy to carry and easy to use (sort of), the card works on metric sizes ranging from M6 to M14. Does that mean it won’t work on bolts in the US? If anything, carrying around a stainless steel card in your wallet means one more weapon you get to fling at would-be muggers. Available for 7.99 ($15). – Jason Chen

Product Page [The Dog House via Shiny Shiny]
from gizmodo

Five bladeded scissors just wasn’t enough for the Japanese. They’ve went and upped the ante to NINE. Nine blades to help you shred your papers nine times as fast as a normal pair, and 1.8 times as fast as the five-bladed model. Available for $19.80. – Jason Chen

Product Page [via Seihin World]
from Gizmodo

 

The Shock Knife delivers up to 7500 volts but less than 1 milliamp. Activated at the touch of a button, it has four different modes: “Low”, “Med”, “Hi”, and “X”. The Shock Knife is made from an ultradurable polycarbonate blend and features a no-slip handle to ensure maximum grippage.

Need training against a knife but don’t want to look like Zsasz from Batman? Use the Shocknife, which looks like a knife, hurts like a knife, but doesn’t cut your skin.

[via Gizmodo]
From Techeblog

The magnetic wristband is especially made for those home improvement chores where you feel like you don’t have enough hands. It has a powerful magnetic surface that’s 2.25” x 1.25”, and can hold a handful of those nails and screws in place while you’re busy getting the job done. Might not be a good idea to wear it when you’re working on hard drives or any other magnetic media. It’s available now for $19.50.

Product page [via Uber Review]

From Gizmodo

Honestly, the Swiss army knife went out with boy scouts. With growing up comes different responsibilities. For example: people trade in whittling wood with stapling memos and TPS reports. This Swiss Business Tool will provide you all of the tools you’ll ever need. It includes a flat-clinch stapler, hole punch, staple remover, scissors, optical gauge and it even sticks to its original roots with a nail file.

Swiss Business Tool [uncrate]

From Gizmodo

Victorinox has been making Swiss Army knives with USB drives for a while now, but their Swiss Beat MP3 Player has got to be the first gadget that will both let you listen to Michael Bolton’s “Time, Love and Tenderness” as well as slit someone’s carotid artery.

Swiss Beat is a removable USB flash-based 1GB music player that handles the WMA, WAV, and Ogg formats, has a built-in FM radio as well as a voice recorder that saves to mp3. It works with PCs and Macs, comes with earphones, a remote control, a belt clip and an arm strap for jogging. Oh, and the three most basic of Swiss Army Knife tools: a two inch blade, mini-scissors and a nail file. MSRP is supposed to hover around $250 but ThinkGeek’s selling it for $169.99.

Swiss Beat MP3 [ThinkGeek]
Swiss Beat [Gadget Madness]

Victorinox Swiss Army Knives w/ Flash Drives [Amazon]